I am tired

So ... several conversations, shows, articles, and friends later, there were these words that fell out of my head. And as I was writing this ... in one fell emotional swoop ... what kept comping to mind is that it's like we're looking through the wrong end of a beautiful kaleidoscope. To ensure what that would be, I actually looked it up, and it seemed like confirmation: "Recently I picked up a kaleidoscope again. The concept is not complicated. Several mirrors, a few bits of colored plastic. But if you look through the wrong end, what do you see? Nothing but a cloudy blur. You have to look through the correct end, focus your eye on the small hole, and hold the toy up to the light. Only then does the beauty of the pattern unfold."

Hold on to your hats:

I am tired
by Lyn Marinello

I am tired
of a great many things
of just who to please so they pull the right strings
I am tired
of trying hard each day
to watch what I do and which words I might say
I am tired
of what offends you now
which pronoun to use, to what ridiculousness to kowtow
I am tired
of trying to defend
anything I might believe in because, again, I might offend
I am tired
of listening to hate
of being forcefully fed what you put on your plate
I am tired
of being tied to your past
of being constantly consumed by what you believe aghast
I am tired
of picking up your tab
of watching as you're thankless just looking for more to grab
I am tired
of being so accused
we've all been truly shafted, you're not the lone abused
I am tired
of this positive façade
most days I forge forward but today it just seemed odd
I am tired
of amending things for you
when in fact there's nothing wrong in what I say and do
I am tired
of listening to the whines

being told to be less me, changing history, names and signs
I am tired
and privilege is not mine
walk a mile in my shoes, then let's hear your opine
I am tired
No, actually, I'm exhausted
constantly barraged, berated and accosted
I am tired
I understand you are too
I think the answer lies more so in I'll do me and you do you
I have never belittled you
marginalized or conspired
I've simply lived with what I have and I am really tired.

Now before you get all crazy on me ... these are not just my words. This kaleidoscope can be seen with the many facets from which it's intended. Read it from a plethora of perspectives ... not just your own ... for this is how it was written.