Happy Birthday!

Today, I awoke with a renewed energy; a surplus of sass; and a little extra pep in my step.

Now since I have been killing myself working out AND working some crazy hours and brutal shifts AND trying to organize not one, but two different hospital events; AND trying to figure out something special for my daughter's birthday; AND preparing to go away on vacation; and trying to find my son some place to live in Tallahassee for school . . . I am attributing my burst of buoyancy to today's birthday girl . . .

MOM!

I celebrate your birth today, Mom, because the alternative is too hard to bear. I know that you are constantly vigil over me and all your other children and your grandbabies and even your great-grandbabies. You guide me, steer me, and continue to keep my heart light and happy with your enduring qualities of ethics and morals and love. I know that you share yourself with me in special ways and special times. I gladly and whole-heartedly accept each gift you offer.

I miss you more than you could imagine.

I hope Heaven is all that you hoped it would be and that your music and your talents and your beauty are enjoyed and treasured! You're the most amazing Ch-Angel I know!

Happy Birthday, Mom! I love you and miss you!

Shake Things Up

I do not normally blog on Sundays. Yes, even I take a day off and try to relax. Tomorrow, however, will be an insanely busy day and I don't think I'll be able to squeeze in my regular morning efforts, so I will 'shake things up' and take Monday off instead!

Crazy, right? Living on the edge and all!

Let me tell you about 'shaking things up'!

Yesterday, after all the yard work and beating up the kick bag, I turned to a great expanse of open driveway. My first thought was . . . roundoff back sommie. Intelligence got the better of me and I did a few split leaps instead. My mind was instantly back to RVC gymnastics. When I went into the garage to grab a water, I was staring straight into the little placque given to me by my gymnastics coach that says, "Be your own special self." I smiled.

I ran around and did a few errands after a shower and gathered the mail on the way into the house. Not much good stuff, but there was this envelope. Now I knew from the return address who it was from and my heart was happy. This person is my second mom. She's known me since before I existed and has loved me for as many years as one of her own. Her little card came to 'shake things up'. It simply said, "Just a hug . . .  Just for you . . .  Just because." I smiled.

See . . . you don't have to cure a disease or invent the next veg-o-matic to 'shake things up'. You simply need to follow your heart and do something nice. You never, ever know what it will mean to the recipient. I've had that gymnastics placque for about THIRTY years. Its message has truly sunk in and I love that my coach took the time to choose that especially for me. My 'Just Because' card from my friend will sit on my desk, beside my photo of my mom, to warm my heart and start my days off properly. It's good to know you're cared about.

Shake Things Up . . . make a difference in someone's life today!

Determination

Today, I am determined to get my to-do list done.

I am determined to get a little sun while doing some chores.

I am determined to finish my laundry. (Yes, folded, hung up, and put away, too!)

I am determined to clean my house and the piles of papers that litter every area in it.

I am determined to not let those folks that try to make me cranky and crabby succeed in their efforts.

I am determined to smile and sing and yes, maybe even dance a little today.

I am determined to enjoy the blessings that abound around me.

I am determined to laugh and live and love, no matter what.

Not sure if you noticed, and I really didn't plan it, it truly just happens (even in just the scheming), but I've actually 'talked' myself into a positive state.

I hope you do the same.

Be determined to be happy! The choice is yours!

This Day

This is one of my most favorite quotes of all time.

It is simple, direct, eloquent and does not need a whole lot of embellishment.

It is a quote that you read and say, "Yup!" And then, twenty minutes later you find yourself thinking about it and really saying, "Yes, it is true!" And later, after lunch it will again come back to your thoughts. It is just one of those wonderful statements that is sheer perfection.

Enjoy it . . .

"Nothing is worth more than this day."

PIF

PIF

Today, the last Thursday of April, is National Pay It Forward Day!

This is one of my most favorite things to do in all the world. I have been so blessed in my lifetime; and if you read yesterday's blog, you might be asking yourself, "Really?" The answer is yes!

You cannot count your blessings if you do not understand that you've been given grace. To fully accept a generous kindness you must be fully aware of the LACK of kindness. I have struggled through many an issue, battled many a demon, fought through many hardships. I have ALWAYS managed to find a silver lining - no matter the issue. And, in finding that silver lining, it is imperative that you acknowledge it, thank God for it, and help it to continue its journey!

Thus . . . Pay It Forward!

It need not be a grand gesture.

Sometimes just helping someone with groceries, buying a coffee for the person in line behind you, sharing a smile, a kind word, a helping hand, an open heart. Simple things, for you, might mean the absolute world to someone else.

You simply have no idea what kind of ripple you can begin if you just decide to Pay It Forward!

Today, first ponder all of the kindnesses of strangers that have been dropped in your lap.

Then . . . PIF!

Go Pay It Forward!!!

Reason-able Respect

Facebook is a wonderful tool to support a cause, follow a passion, enlighten or inform others, and to open the eyes and minds of folks. It really shouldn't be used, however, to batter or belittle.

I've had a fairly full and interesting life. My grandparents on my mom's side have passed away - most probably to heart issues. My mother battled breast and bone cancer, lung issues, and more . . . and lost. My beautiful great niece, Julia, died of SIDS - or so the findings say. My father-in-law had Alzheimers that just ravaged him. One dad was an alcoholic, another had some sort of cancer, and the third had a bone disease. I had a beautiful, generous soul of a friend who was senselessly killed on his motorcycle. I have many friends with children with Autism. I have a friend whose child has OsteoGenesis Imperfecta (brittle bone disease). I've listened to the cries and screams of parents in a hospital dealing with their children in the Oncology ward. I've dealt with Diabetes, Epilepsy, Crohn's Disease, and more. I've had extensive opportunity to learn about Scoliosis with my niece -  who had two surgeries, my daughter - who was spared surgery, and myself. I've also met evil head on with Dermatomyositis - the life-threatening auto-immune disease my son has battled.

My point is this . . . I could cheer and root and rant about any of these; or all of these. I have chosen to focus on a hospital that dedicates its services to children and ALL of their ailments; and a local organization that grants the dreams of seriously or terminally ill children just to give them a chance to divert their attention and enjoy themselves ~ if only briefly.

My charities are not better than yours. My passions are not greater than yours. But, boy howdy, they are my passions. I live, eat, breathe these passions.

I am certain that your passions are intense and motivated by personal issues also. That is what fuels us; what drives us; what allows us to take that next step. I'm not asking you to give up your passions or what motivates you. I'm asking you to simply be aware of ANOTHER opportunity to help. If you are moved to assist me in my passions, then I am ecstatic. If you choose, instead, to focus on your own plight then I hope I am able to assist you at some point, in some manner, for some good.

We must learn to Respect the Reasons we do what we each do. There is great reason, great energy, and great need for all sorts of folks to fight all sorts of battles. In educating and sharing with one another, we can make a difference.

A Ride

On the wings of my angel
I am safe and secure
On a feathery bed
I'm at peace to my core
A halo to hold on to
Golden and round
A journey toward Heaven
Blessings abound
Life is a voyage
Full of beautiful things
Safe in God's hands
Atop my angel's wings!


Enjoy YOUR ride!

For Earth Day . . .

The wonder of living is held within the beauty of silence,
the glory of sunlight . . .
the sweetness of fresh spring air,
the quiet strength of earth,
and the love that lies
at the very root of all things!

PEACE!

America is breathing a giant, collective sigh of relief today after the capture of the Boston bombing suspect. The combined efforts of many police forces, the FBI, local, state and government officials, and the persistence, vigilance, and dedication of the folks in and around Boston came to a head last night as thousands amassed to bring down this angry coward.

That is as much connotation as I will offer that person. It is more than he deserves.

I, instead, will focus on prayers to the families of those lost. I will focus on thoughts and prayers to the nearly two-hundred injured. I will focus on the resilience of a whole city and its suburbs. I will focus on the coming together of a nation, glued to the images, and concentrating on one singular outcome.

"We cannot live for ourselves alone.
Our lives are connected by a thousand invisible threads,
and along these sympathetic fibers,
our actions run as causes and return to us as results."
~ Herman Melville

Boston is beautiful. I have never been there. I am speaking of the aura and the communal nature it has displayed. The first responders, medical folks, police, firefighters, and ordinary citizens who moved beyond their own space to do whatever was necessary is a blatant display of what America is all about.

We exist, most beautifully, as a unified band of brothers.

To you all . . . today and always . . . PEACE!

Strength

When I was younger and immensely and intently involved in body-building, I was really relatively strong for a person of my stature. At 112 pounds, I was squatting 180 or more. I was curling 50 to 60 pounds and occasionally amazed myself at the strength that seemed to come from elsewhere to perform certain gym functions.

As I have aged, I have re-evaluated the term 'strength'.

Sometimes, I believe it has to do more with endurance. We are tested many times during our lives and our strength is measured proportionately with our perseverance. Can we prevail over the unknown? Can we walk when we have no idea where we're going? I don't care if you can lift a car over your head, that sort of strength is beyond definition.

Sometimes, I believe strength has to do with forgiveness. Don't ever confuse forgiveness with forgetting, but forgiveness is a strength that has a tremendous amount of benefits. I have forgiven hoardes of folks who have hurt me; physically, mentally, and emotionally. I have risen beyond their petty games and belittlement to forgive them their ignorance and move forward focused on a more positive path.

Sometimes, I believe strength has everything to do with faith. Whatever faith you believe in, that unconditional trust in something unknown and intangible takes more strength than Charles Atlas could ever muster. To take an unstable step toward an unsteady future, knowing that there is an entity to guide you, to keep you safe, to love you, and to raise you up is a strength born of indescribable courage.

And, sometimes, strength is just going out to the driveway and kicking the ever-living snot out of your kickbag because you've got a little pent up energy.

Whatever strength you need today . . . I wish you plenty of it!

Blowhard!

Stealing a little post from a dear friend. It went a little something like this:

Blowing out someone else's candle,
doesn't make yours any brighter.

You may not believe what I believe, but does belittling me or demeaning me make your vision any more correct?

You may not see what I see, but yelling at me or shouting your opinions does not make your vision any clearer.

I do not force feed anything I think, believe, or follow on anyone else. If you don't like what I say, or think, or do . . . by all means, go away. Rude, selfish, and disingenuous behavior accomplishes only one thing. It makes you appear rude, selfish, and disingenuous.

Choose your thoughts, your words, and your actions carefully.

They become who you are.

Really

There are days when you feel like . . . "Really?"

That's the best you can muster in the realm of all you see happening. You see pain and suffering and hurting and most of it is senseless. You wonder how folks can be so selfish and damaging. You truly question the essence of man.

And THAT is when you realize where the problem lies.

Our most significant opportunities can be found in times of great difficulty. Where there is tragedy, there are also heroes and the overcoming of hardships. If you fuel your journey and your beliefs on the opinions and actions of others, you will wind up gasless in the middle of a very barren desert.

In a book I just finished reading Kisses from Katie, I could probably just put the entire Afterword in here, but she speaks of crazy trust and crazy obedience to a God who is always enough. We are constantly stretched and hollowed out to receive more of what He wants to give us.

We should freely give to the world our gifts of love and compassion. Do not count your good deeds in hopes of receiving the same in blessings. The end-all of life is not about getting rich, but instead, how best to enrich the world. We do not always understand what is going on, or why there might be misery and suffering, but we are assured that there is a plan and if we open ourselves up to it, we will be allotted an integral role in the beauty that flows forth.

Really!

When You Can't Stand It Any More . . .

I was going to stay hidden until tomorrow, but in light of the terrorist attacks in Boston yesterday, my heart and hands were compelled to offer . . . something.

It is nothing extraordinary.

I would ask that you all keep Boston and all those affected by this horrendous tragedy in your thoughts and in your hearts and in your prayers. Cowardly acts, like those of yesterday, remind us to continue our vigilance, our patriotism, and our strength in numbers as an American people.

Still . . . the images break your heart. The cries and shrieks are etched upon your ear drums. The photos, once seen, can never been unseen. There is a pain and a sadness that weighs upon you and no matter how strong you may be, it seems you may never be free of it.

When You Can't Stand It Any More . . .


KNEEL!!!

Sunshine State

When someone mentions the "Sunshine State," there are conjured images of sandy beaches; brilliant beams of sun filtering through puffy white clouds; tall, swaying palm trees pitted against beautiful clear blue skies; lulling surf that lazily rolls on shore soothing every care away; Disney and Miami and Sanibel and St. Augustine and a bazillion other beautiful places to go to simply relax and unwind.

When I hear "sunshine state," of course - being who I am, completely different images fill my old noggin.

Not so much a noun . . . but an adjective!

I was told yesterday while at work that as many times as this shopper has been in, he has never NOT seen me smiling. I had a co-worker tell me yesterday that she thinks of me as a very strong, yet gentle and caring person ~ a wonderful combination. (Her words, not mine! I swear!)

I am always in a "sunshine state"!

I try to be that comfortable place that folks want to visit. I want to be those rays of sunshine filtering through whatever kind of day you might be having. I want to offer you just a little shade, while showing you the great expanse of beautiful Heavens. I want to give you a quiet place of solace to relax and rejoice at the same time. I want to allow you the freedom to be who you are . . . and the best you you can be.

Join me in the "sunshine state"!

Beauty

Beauty is in the eye of the 'beer holder'. One of my favorite silly t-shirts from years ago.

Beauty is a truly interesting thing. So many folks chase the ideological IMAGE of beauty. They have surgeries and procedures and tucks and trims and wraps and more things than I'm probably aware of done to themselves in the endless pursuit of trying to be the essence of what they DEEM to be beautiful.

Being so passionate about the care and support of sick children and people, I sometimes get a little nutty that folks will spend $5,000 or more on procedures to enhance themselves for some ridiculous NOTION of what they once were, or hope to be. Do they not realize what $5,000 could do for an ill child? Dear Lord!

Here's an idea . . .

Get off your couch. Take a walk. Hula-hoop (I have a neighbor who literally lost like 80+ pounds hula-hooping!). Do squats while you're cooking. Lunges during laundry. Plank yourself to perfection. There is just a myriad of things that you can do, without spending a fortune, to improve how you look and feel. Have more veggies. Eat more fruit. Get rid of the junk food, cookies, chips, and soda. When the cravings come, have a giant glass of ice cold water!

The absolute best procedure you can do is to stare at yourself in the mirror and develop a little self confidence. Self confidence is the most attractive quality a person can have. When YOU believe in the beauty of YOUR self, others will flock to the charisma that eminates from you. When YOU believe in the beauty of YOUR features, others will find you more appealing. When YOU believe in the beauty that YOU possess, it will be natural for others to see it too.

How can anyone see how awesome you are if you cannot see it yourself?

You are beautiful! Made perfectly, exactly how you are! Each of us offers something uniquely unblemished and pristine. You'll never be a wonderful replica of someone else.

Be Beautiful You!

Enjoy your stepping stones

Saw two quips this morning that really 'grabbed' me.

I think one is because I'm finally learning to let go of the anger that builds up when folks try to intentionally (or at least seemingly) upset me.

It is important to remember that if you are being attacked emotionally,
it is more than likely not about you at all.

The second one is because I'm finally learning to let go of the anger that builds up when folks try to intentionally (or at least seemingly) upset me.

What do you mean, "It's in God's hands now"? Wasn't it always? Perhaps your mistake was thinking it was ever in your hands.

We must focus on our passions and our plans. Do not become distracted by the diversions of the deviant. Their mission is to trip you up; to upset you; to disrupt your task. Walk boldly and fearlessly in the direction of your dreams. Those that try to impede you will actually become your stepping stones to be a better place!

Walk on!

Footprints

A few days ago, a co-worker who is a believer had a brutally horrible day at work. It seemed that every irritated, ugly, mean-spirited, grumpy person went to her register and took all their frustrations out on her beautiful little self.

When I went home, deep in thought about her and feeling so badly for her and all she had been through, I happened upon the Footprints story with a little footsteps lapel pin attached. I gave it to her yesterday and we were both instantly moved to tears. It is so very nice to know that such a simple act of reminding someone that they are never alone can make all the difference in the world.

One night I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord.
Many scenes from my life flashed across the sky.
In each scene I noticed footprints in the sand.
Sometimes there were two sets of footprints.
Other times there were only one set.

This bothered me because I noticed that during the low periods of my life,
when I was suffering from anguish, sorrow, or defeat,
I could see only one set of footprints.

So I said to the Lord, "You promised me Lord,
that if I followed you, you would walk with me always.
But I have noticed that during the most trying periods of my life
there has only been one set of footprints in the sand.
Why, when I needed you most,
have you not been there for me?"

The Lord replied,
"The times when you have seen only one set of footprints,
that is when I have carried you."

Know that you are not ever, not for one fleeting moment, alone.

A little Monty Python for your morning

Always look on the bright side of life!
Some things in life are bad. They can really make you mad
Other things just make you swear and curse.
When you're chewing on life's gristle, don't grumble. Give a whistle
And this'll help things turn out for the best
If life seems jolly rotten. There's something you've forgotten
And that's to laugh and smile and dance and sing.
When you're feeling in the dumps. Don't be silly chumps.
Just purse your lips and whistle - that's the thing.
And always look on the bright side of life!

People tend to be awfully generous when sharing their nonsense, their fear, and their ignorance. They will eagerly feed your their negativity, their drama, and their gossip.

Your diet needs to consist of positivity. Spiritually, emotionally, physically, mentally!

What you allow in, is what tends to come out. Fuel yourself with polite, productive, philanthropic, promising, purity, passion, playfulness, peace. The 'skinny' you feel can't be read on a scale.

We found this spoon!

Bitter Sweet

Life is not always easy.

It is, often times, a blend of the bitter and the sweet; each washing over you repeatedly teaching you to weather the bitter and savor the sweet.

I have six brothers; each in their own way amazing and outstanding and I love them all. At any given moment, I can recall countless childhood memories with each or all of them in which we always ended up laughing . . . either because it was truly hilarious; or we were simply happy to have survived. We were very close. When folks send those silly email lists about "where have you been?" and "what foods have you eaten?," the answer to "what was your favorite childhood toy?" was always, "pick a brother, any brother". Now, two of the six don't even speak to me. Up and down. Bitter and sweet.

I have a dear friend who just started a very exciting new venture. She has been wanting to write for a long time. She was doing fantastic. She was really digging deep and I believe touching folks. She seemed thrilled to have taken that leap of faith to put herself out there and do what she wasn't sure she could do. Now . . . she sits bedside with her grandmother willing her to pass to a much better place. Up and down. Bitter and sweet.

My youngest uncle is younger than my oldest brother. We pretty much grew up together. He is a kind and gentle and wonderful soul. He has worked hard his whole life, dealt with some health issues, legal stuff, and finally found a woman who made him happy and kept him focused on good things like work and happy family and laughter. Two days ago, cancer took her from him. Up and down. Bitter and sweet.

Although sometimes the bitter is truly bitter and that taste and that sorrow is horribly difficult to remove from your palate, know that the sweet will come. As the rainbow follows the storm, there will be sweet times ahead of you.

For now, buckle up.

The strength of angels

By now, you all know that I believe, quite firmly, in angels.

They exist! No one will ever change my mind of that. They are here and reside in some folks permanently, take up residence in others for just a brief, fleeting moment; and they visit as unexplainable moments and incidents when we need them.

You need only believe.

When we are walking into storms unkown . . . they lead us, providing a protective barrier.

When we are in the midst of bad circumstances . . . they surround us with peace and strength and comfort.

When we are leaving baggage behind . . . they provide the path and the light in which to follow.

I have been blessed with the presence of many angels in my lifetime. More than I care to count. I have overcome so many things that should really have made me a miserable, angry, bitter, ugly, misguided, and wrathful individual. Instead, I share the wonder and the beauty of the great grace that has repeatedly been shown to me. I share my happiness, my love, my joy, my peace.

I have, enveloping me, the army of a million angels, defending and safeguarding me . . . that I might carry on . . . and share the strength of angels!

To Inspire

What a humble blessing that someone is inspired to do something because of you or your actions!

To Inspire:  to influence or impel; to produce or arouse; to bring confidence to others; to fill or affect with a specified feeling or thought.

Through a torturous work week, exhaustion, a little lingering cough that will just not go away, frustrating people and circumstances and then . . . (insert angelic chorus and bright light filtering through grey clouds) . . . one person states that I inspired them to do something they've been wanting to do.

All the exhaustion? Irrelevant. The cough? Who cares? The frustrations? Indifferent!

I helped someone.

I spurred someone to take that leap of faith in themselves. I could not ask for a better week.

I wish you all could feel what I'm feeling.

Go . . . inspire someone . . . even if it's yourself!

Be Useful

From Leo Rosten:

"I think the purpose of life is to be useful,
to be responsible,
to be honorable,
to be compassionate.
It is, after all, to matter:
to count, to stand for something, to have made some difference that you have lived at all."

And, if you are useful, your are honoring something. You are being compassionate. You must be responsible for your actions to truly make that difference.

So . . . go . . .

be useful.

Hurtful Freedom

Aaaaaaaaaaaah!

The serenity one feels when you set something free. You allow it to grow. You have nurtured it, groomed it, loved it, coddled it, held it, glued it, sometimes duct taped it, but all the while given it one-hundred percent of all that you are. It is a bittersweet moment in which you much relinquish the reigns and either watch someone else begin the grooming and loving and nurturing, or you allow it to do those things on its own.

It is a freedom that hurts. That moment when your heart understands it no longer holds the key, although it will always provide the stable house. It is an agonizing wonderful time.

What makes this post so intriguing is . . . I'm not quite positive EXACTLY what I'm writing about, but I know it covers many bases.

Allow the hurtful freedom. It's good for everyone/thing!

March Forth

I'm glad I worked a super long shift yesterday. It certainly kept my mind off of the focus of yesterday. I appreciate the kind words of love and support given by many, many, many friends and family. You always get me through and bring tears (of joy) to my eyes. Thank you!

One post, in particular, truly caught my eye. It was from a wonderful friend and a beautiful Ch-Angel ~ Barbara! She's been a fantastic friend, supporter, confidant, cohort, and beautiful soul for as long as I've known her - which sadly, is not nearly as long as I'd like!

She posted something about 'feeling my pain' as she had lost her mother not too long ago also. Of course, this was a bonding moment, as we shared the same emptiness that comes with such a great hole in your life. What struck me moreso was the date on which her mother moved on. And also, how it seems that Barbara is the epitome of all that THAT encompasses.

Barbara . . . my Ch-Angel . . . you have strength beyond your belief. You let others lead small lives, yet you do not. You let others argue over small things, yet you do not. You let others cry over small hurts, yet you do not. You let others leave their future in stranger's hands, yet you do not. Not matter what comes your way . . . you March Forth!!!

I know you'll understand that Barb. God bless and March Forth!  ALWAYS!

An April Fool

An April Fool

Three years ago today on a beautiful Florida morn
I held the cold hand of a departed friend: The mother to whom I was born

I had travelled across the state to assist because she fell
Two days later, I sat in shock. The visit had gone to hell

We arrived for hospital discharge. There was laughter and chatter and more
We watched American Idol like a million visits before

She was eager to get to rehab. She tickled the ivories there
The other patients adored her and the musical gifts she shared

We settled her into her room. Her husband was allowed to stay
She and her roommate soon hit it off and were chatting the evening away

My sister and I left for the night. Content that she was ok
But the call we got the next morning was one of dread and dismay

She'd been taken to ICU. Her breathing could not be sustained
When we arrived at the hospital the anguish could not be refrained

She was in a giant bed. Dwarfed by machines; enveloped in wires
A breathing tube to help her breathe. Her husband, bedside, exhausted and tired

We ushered him home to rest. We sat vigilant, steadfast in prayer
Her tube removed, breathing on her own, we sat next to her hyper-aware

The doctor finally came to visit. Explained she'd be lucky to see dawn's light
Neither of us grasped the magnitude of the finality of this fight

She'd simply broken her collarbone. Could we be hearing this right?
We talked to her and sang her songs to help her through the night.

They moved us to a private room. We prayed for her without cease
To allow the Lord to take her home to finally rest in peace.

Early in the morning, in the hospital's sterile cool
I watched in disbelieving shock and became an April Fool

My mom, my friend, my confidant, slipped quietly toward Heaven's gate
The burden of her pain was gone, now I carry that heavy weight

. . .

Here I sit some years later, still devastated by this loss
Who do I share my victories with? To whom do I rant when cross?

I know she's earned here wings. She's the keyboard queen in the sky
I know I'm blessed to have been there; to have been able to say goodbye

But daily my heart aches for her. She left such a gaping hole
The solace for this April Fool is to know she's blessed my soul.

I love you and miss you Mom!