Be sure the safety bar is secure

When we get on the ride that is the roller coaster of life, nobody checks the safety bar.

You just wait in line, hop in a car, pull it down and see where this crazy contraption takes you.

Usually, there is a nice long uphill climb, for a couple of decades at least, before you hurl at untold speeds down some wicked steep drop off with your hair straight out behind you, screaming at the top of your lungs. Just when you think you're plummeting straight into the dirt, you meet up with some spine-distorting, bone-jarring barrel roll or corkscrew that takes you back up to the heavens. There are tunnels of darkness, flashes of lights, spritzes, sprays, an array of sounds and alarms and twists and turns you never see coming. On occasion, there is some short, peaceful connection to get you from point A to point B, before another delirious onslaught of the unknown.

Now, definitely, there are those that become a little squeamish. There are those that try to be all brave while their insides are all jumbled. But it is those folks who ride the ride for what it is that get the most out of it. Those that might occasionally lose their lunch, but who quickly recover to savor the sensation of scarcely hanging on to their sanity, who truly envelope and enjoy all this attraction allows.

Please keep your hands and feet inside the vehicle at all times. Any loose items are certain to be gone at the end of the ride. And please, be sure the safety bar is secure!

Enjoy the ride!