Beating the Bully

Sadly, bullies are everywhere! They come in all shapes and sizes, colors and sexes, and they can be horrifically devastating! We must learn to beat the bullies. To do so, we must first somewhat understand them.

First, there are three main forms of bullying ~ physical, emotional, and mental. No one type is any worse than another. Each is hurtful is completely unnecessary!

The physical bully is normally large, but not always. Almost always their pushing, shoving, hitting, beating, etc., stems from an overt lack of self worth. They find the only way they can 'present' themselves is to prove their power. They lack communication skills and the ability to connect with other people beyond brute force and might. Unfortunately, one of the best ways to 'beat this bully' is to simply plant yourself in another place. You could try to love them into understanding their own value, thereby understanding the value of others, but you put yourself in a very precarious position. Be very careful!

The emotional and mental bully is terrifying! These are the folks whose volume precedes their thinking. They are of the notion that because it's their opinion, if you do not agree, you are wrong. They berate you, attack you, belittle you, intimidate you, and all the while persist in shouting their viewpoints. Eventually, you are left weak, bereft of soul, and are simply a puppet. What you need to remember when facing the emotional/mental bully, is that when they enter a battle of wits . . . they come completely unarmed! They cannot carry on a conversation, because they do not possess the talent to impart a single idea intelligently. Every thought is screamed at you with the intent of tearing you down to accept their beliefs and ideals. They don't care about your thoughts, your feelings, your ideas, your brains, your intelligence, or anything beside themselves. It is actually a sad, sad event. How did anyone ever get to the point of omnipotence? They didn't!! And THAT is how you beat them.

Educate yourself! Know your topics and emit facts. Back them up. A disavowed bully crumbles like a stale cookie. If it is a screaming match of opinions, do not scream. Simply say, "I disagree." When the reaction you give is NOT one of jumping up and down, joining in their antics, and becoming irate ~ the bully is baffled. Their main intent is to get a rise out of you. Keep your feet firmly planted and, if you're able, point them in another direction. That helps too.

I hope you beat your bullies. I would love to fix the bullies. I would love to help them and let them know it's ok to be vulnerable instead of overbearing, to make inquiries instead of exclamations, to feel instead of inflict harm. Sadly, they must take that first step themselves. Today, I hope you beat your bullies.