It's OK

I always try to keep a positive attitude.

I always try to choose "happy" over "crappy" as the day's choice.

Today, though, I am a little less-than-exuberant. But . . . it's OK.

I ponder today a loss. Not by my choosing, but by his. He said, "I am done with you." I'm not sure why. I was thousands of miles away when he said it. Not sure what I did or how horribly he misconstrued whatever he misconstrued, but . . . it's OK.

I cannot change what someone else believes, or thinks, or perceives. I am in control of me. I know I did nothing to him. The cross of that burden of anger and bitterness and hate is squarely on his shoulders. I wish he'd put down the baggage he carries but, that is his choice to make. I cannot do it for him. I do not judge the choices he's made and what it has done to and for him, for those were his choices to make. I simply miss what used to be.

My heart hurts for all the unanswered attempts I made to contact him. There's a hole where he used to stand. There's an ache for the silliness we used to share. but . . . it's OK.

I am certain, without an inkling of doubt, that I did everything I was able to do to help him when he needed help. I harbor no issues with his actions ~ no matter the heartache they caused. I pray for his health, his happiness, and his prosperity every night while thanking God for his existence.

And because of that . .  it's OK.